Squirrel Facts & Information
Fact 1: Squirrels deliberately
try to make drivers crash their vehicles by suddenly running
across the street. Most people slam on the breaks and/or swerve
their car erratically in such scenarios. It's a natural reaction and
Squirrels know and exploit this, especially on wet or frozen
roads. Other people just prefer to run right over them.
Ask yourself the following questions: 'Is avoiding a squirrel
who is running across the highway worth swerving to avoid and in the process
dying in a fireball explosion as my
car skids off the pavement and plummets into a 2000 foot deep chasm
of doom?' Is a squirrel's life worth slamming on the brakes on an icy road,
sliding out of control and violently hitting a telephone pole
causing me to get ejected from my car and then sailing headfirst into
a random pool of acid, rendering me, well, dead to be quite frank with myself?'
I don't think so!
Ask yourself, the next time you get behind the wheel of your car, 'Is
avoiding a lowly squirrel worth jerking my steering wheel
in a spastic manner, causing my vehicle to careen onto a railroad track
resulting in a head-on collision with a freight train, somehow travelling at a
rate of 200 miles per hour, my vehicle folding around me,
violently pulverized me into a sickening cloud of red mist and
chunks of flesh and bone fragments?'
This isn't rocket science, folks. The bottom line: Don't risk your life
to avoid a squirrel that doesn't belong on any street or highway to begin with! (Unless
it's dead of course.)
Fact 2: Humans are not exclusively targeted as objects
of domination by the squirrels. The squirrels are also plotting
to take over the ducks and other water fowl of the world as well.
Why, nobody knows just yet. We at N.A.D.S speculate that the
squirrels wish to have control of the lakes and ponds of the
world for whatever reasons.
Fact 3: Not all squirrels are evil! There are actually
rebels that are against the world domination of squirrels. There
are not too many of them around and they are very secretive. Rebel
squirrels face torture and/or death if caught. Below is a
picture of a rebel squirrel. Notice the worried expression on his face?
The cause for worry is rebel squirrels are considered traitors, their
acts treason. All rebel squirrels are marked for death and are therefore
constantly paranoid and worried.